Threads on Respect in O&P

Posted by Tanos on Fri 23 Oct 09, 12:04 AM to the Internal Enslavement blog

This week I've started threads about "Respect in O&P" and its relation to protocols and etiquette, on IC, on Fetlife, and on TSR.

For reference, here is the OP of those threads:

Tanos wrote: Respect in O&P One of questions that comes up repeatedly in D/s and M/s forums is what protocols and etiquette are appropriate amongst groups of D/s or M/s people. For instance, should submissives defer to other dominants? Should owners speak to others' slaves directly? In O&P, the concept of respect for property rights informs these relations between people outside of their relationships. For example, protocols and etiquette should treat unattached submissives as independent, self-owning people, governing their own lives, and not subject to other dominants. This means dominants aren't in a position to order other submissives around, and shouldn't presume any right to deference. Equally, protocols and etiquette should acknowledge the status of submissives in other dominants' possession, and do not presume, for instance, that submissives can still make decisions which are now in the hands of their dominant. So instead of saying to another submissive "Tell me if you decide to go to the party next week", good etiquette would be to say "Let me know if you are going to the party next week" and implicitly acknowledge that the decision is not entirely theirs. These ideas reflect the aim of etiquette in minimising the potential for unintended offense or embarrassment. I believe good protocols - ie rules for behaviour in different environments - include the same aim, along with removing ambiguity and uncertainty about what is expected of a submissive or slave. Furthermore, I believe this basic idea of respect for property rights is a good foundation for individuals or groups to build their own protocols, with some chance that differing protocols won't clash. Do you?

Edited Fri 23 Oct 09, 12:26 AM by Tanos